The Power of Agreement and Cooperation

When faced with an unreasonable request from a client, a programmed negative response, or any situation that is not in your best interest, always initially be cooperative and agreeable. Prospects frequently make unnecessary demands and requests to demonstrate their will and superior position of strength, but often all they’re looking for is validation and ego reinforcement. By being agreeable initially, you defuse their will and can then follow through with your carefully crafted response that seeks to maintain your own agenda or interests.

A prime example of this is when prospects ask me to send information. This is so often a programmed request and in 95% of the cases, a flimsy request. However, if I project my real feelings about their request, I’ll be dead in the water. So initially, I always agree to cooperate. For example: “Jim, I’d be more than happy to send some information to you. Before I do so, would it be all right to ask you some questions to determine if we can even be of help to you? Does that make sense?” Requesting this of the prospect helps you balance your knowledge that their request is hollow and not something they are remotely interested in, yet still keeps rapport with your prospect.

What do you do when a prospect wants something in an unreasonable time frame? To defuse it, you do an initial goodwill gesture of agreeing. For example: “That makes sense that you want it right away. I certainly can appreciate that. With your permission, could we first explore other alternatives, then we can revisit your tight deadline request?”

It is critical to respond to requests that you can’t fulfill or are not willing to fulfill by delivering the bad news behind a gesture of goodwill, acknowledgement or validation. You will find that your initial agreement and cooperation will go a long way in softening your prospect's firm position and will to resist you. Often, prospects are more concerned about getting their psychological needs met than they are in getting their demands met.

Like in everyday life, prospects are no different than anyone else. They are stroke deprived. By letting them initially win and having their way, you increase your chances of losing the battle but winning the war. To maintain rapport and build relationships in difficult circumstances, you will be constantly called upon to subvert your own ego to allow others to get their psychological needs met first. Prospects who get their psychological needs met are generally far more willing to do business with you and build long term relationships with you because of the positive reinforcement they are getting from being validated and affirmed.