If You are Not Having Fun in Sales Maybe You are in the Wrong Field.
The highest reward for selling is not your results, but what you become personally because of it. So be the person you want to sell. Aspire to being more than just getting more. Unfortunately, for most of us our sales role and persona is made up of what others think and feel about us, instead of what we really think and feel about ourselves. A good gauge to monitor ourselves is with how others treat us. "People generally act as near by treating us the way they perceive you treating yourself," says P.S. Perkins.
"There's nothing separate about selling. Selling comes from where you are. From who you are. If there's something you don't like about selling, or about how you feel about selling, or what you are selling it's because something is crashing up against your sense of self. When that happens it's time to make a change," says Kevin Hoffberg. In selling, to know your customers is admirable, to know yourself is priceless.
Sales people can easily be so overwhelmed by the demands of their job that they lose all perspective, forget how to be self-aware, inner-directed and be true to themselves. To succeed at their job and make good money they become someone that they rather not be, do not know and do not like. Sometimes they sell and use sales strategies that are ethical, but go against their comfort zone and beliefs. This causes a lot of inner turmoil and stress and will sometimes show up in behavior and results in the field
The key to getting success and getting what you want out of your sales career is feeling good about what you want. The universal law of supply and demand in sales states that if you are having fun doing what you are doing and others are having fun while you are performing your duties, business will take care of itself with minimal stress and aggravation.
If ever there was a truism in sales that is relevant today it is—things are the way they are because I am the way I am. No matter what you see, experience or hear in your sales interactions, your feelings are determined by what your mind decides is real.
You cannot be successful in sales. You can only be successful. "Your success isn't an issue of what you know; rather, it's the result of who you are. How you sell isn't as important as why you sell and who you are is more important than what you know," says Ron Willingham. And if you really want to know yourself, be aware that whatever you think your sales career is externally withholding from you, you are simply internally withholding from yourself.
Our customers and prospects never fail us in any form or manner, it is only our expectations and our thoughts that fail us. Most good sales people are effective at taking responsibility for their actions, but are not as effective at taking responsibility for their own thoughts and expectations. "Because we impose our own interpretations and meaning in what happens to us in our day to day activities (in sales) we make causes effects and effects causes," says Paul Ferrini.
Staying centered in sales is so important to maintaining one's equilibrium. When you are not centered you start to believe the big wins are a special award and you immediately go into a dysfunctional ego state. Likewise, when you suffer big losses you go into an equally dysfunctional ego state of believing the big losses are a special punishment resulting in manic swings in attitude causing sales paralysis and neediness.
The reason sales people are not centered and continue to get the emotional lessons of rejection and frustration is because they never fully and completely experienced the emotional experience of rejection to begin with. They were so busy interpreting the personal message, reacting and attempting to escape the rejection, they never gave themselves the time and the permission to come to terms with it and realize it. It just simmers and festers below their conscious awareness, and it repeatedly raises its ugly head to throw them off time and time again because it was never properly internalized in the first place.
The faster we run away from some of the unpleasantness of rejection, cold calling and the other run-of-the-mill sales indignities sales people regularly face, the more these things overtake us. Being frustrated at customers for not following through with you, for breaking commitments, for being disrespectful, or for outright rejecting you never lightens your load, it only increases your sense of powerlessness.
Not taking personal responsibility is agreeing you are powerless in your choices. All negative emotions in sales will continue as long as we do not own up to them. Start with "I feel rejected" and simply junk the follow up phrase "because you did..." As long as the justification is present, we will not move beyond your rejection and it will just get worse down the road as you get more rejections.