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Expectation Free Selling

The reason why conventional sales people so often are running around with their heads loose trying to save time, gain time, achieve this and accomplish that, is because they fear something is missing in their lives and their sales career. For most high achievers in any profession, especially in sales, the best way to hide from this is trying to always make more money and knocking down more sales.

"We value what we think is lacking in us. And every filler is a substitute, a sham. We spend our lives chasing what we cannot find and do not need," says Paul Ferrini. Our ticket to job satisfaction, success and long-term fulfillment, regardless of our results and achievements, rest with our ability in mastering the job at hand, being in the moment and not being so emotionally tied to the results.

You will not be able to break out of the dysfunctional patterns of rejection until you come to terms with it, and you do a very close examination of the securities and paybacks that you are unwilling to give up. Make no mistake, the choice of rejection has definite paybacks.

To truly understand rejection one must understand one's emotional investment in it. One would not choose the feeling of rejection unless there was some positive benefit they got from it. Sales people rarely look at it this way because they do not believe they have a choice in the matter. But they do.

True confidence in sales comes exclusively from mind states and not from any outward experience, result or positive feedback. No event or experience holds the key to your confidence like your own internal thoughts. "Neither positive nor negative expectations have any place in your work. Rather, work from a blank slate. Accept everything as temporary, transient and influx of change, good and bad, and your frustrations in sales will greatly diminish," says Jim Camp.

Do not deceive yourself into taking everything so personally. Generally after any sales interaction where you find yourself rejected, know that your feelings of rejection were there first and the interaction, person or thing that you felt caused it was not the original cause. In other words, the rejection was there first before the new action caused it. Our feelings of rejection and frustration are rarely ever what we really think they are.

If being in sales and making a successful career of it feels good to you, you are bound to attract more of it. So how you feel about yourself and your profession is very important. Steve Jobs was a huge proponent of having a passion in what you do and if you do not get out of it and find something else. If you do not enjoy what you do, or you feel like you do not have control of your destiny, and your sales position is frustrating, unfortunately you will tend to attract even more of these negative situations.

What you do out a sacrifice, pure discipline or sheer will and determination will not prosper in the long-term. Eventually you will crash and burn. So do everything possible to make what you do fun and sustainable. That means not setting yourself up in sales situations where you have very little chance of winning.

You can do all the positive affirmations and thinking in the world to get yourself pumped up, but it will not make any real sustainable difference if you continue to put yourself in lost causes and dead deals. Life simply does not reward sales people for what they do out of sacrifice.

We set ourselves up for unending frustration and discouragement when we expect our customers to be predictable and treat us in what we believe are appropriate ways. When sales people drop all their expectations and standards they virtually eliminate all their personal frustrations, rejections and disappointments. Keeping in mind this is easier said than done.

When you really objectively look at all your standards and expectations on how customers should treat you, you will see it is more of a reflection of your own self-righteous standards than anything else.

Peace of mind and managing stress in sales comes when you are willing to no longer expect reality to match your idea of how it should be. The sooner you believe that your customer owes you nothing and you are not entitled to anything, the sooner you will sell with less worries, pressures and perform at a higher level.

Richard Farrell is President of Tangent Knowledge Systems, a national sales development and training firm based in Chicago. He is the author of the upcoming book Selling has Nothing to do with Selling. He trains and speaks around the world and has authored many articles on his unique non-selling sales posture.

Phone: 773-404-7915
EMail: rfarrell@tangentknowledge.com
Web: http://www.tangentknowledge.com