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Customers Do Not Treat Us Poorly, We Treat Ourselves Poorly

Being successful in sales is a state of mind. Most successful sales people were successful at sales before they even landed their first sales job. Likewise, most unsuccessful sales people were unsuccessful in sales before they even got into the profession.

Being a sales person can be a risky occupation when sales people make their self-esteem dependent on positive outcomes. When they do not achieve their results they feel negative and discontent. And the more they feel negative, the more ineffective they become. Too often it is a lose/lose situation.

Once you come to this tough realization that failure of results means nothing to your true self-concept, you will no longer be dangerously attracted to it.

Ironically, whenever you want the sale so bad that you make your self-concept conditional upon receiving it, that is a leading indicator that you are subconsciously fearful of making the sale. Also, your fear projects negative signals and vibes to customers who in turn become skeptical in dealing with you. They can sense your clinginess, and no one likes to be sold to by someone who is needy and desperate. Always remember, neediness is a foul-smelling cologne.

If one were not afraid of making the sale, it would be easy for one to accept the outcome. Your passionate neediness and clinginess to make the sale covers up an internal sense of lack that you seek to overcompensate.

Too often in sales we spend our careers looking for sales we need and want and do not believe deep down we deserve. We can only be as successful with our customers and our career as we can be with ourselves. If we see ourselves as less than successful, our customers will simply project that back to us with their actions and their behaviors.

The mind is overall pretty dumb or smart depending on how you look at it. It can be convinced that you are successful, or it could be just as easily convinced you are unsuccessful.

All success originates in your mind. All failures originate in your mind. Newsflash: "We're victims only of our thoughts and emotions," says Paul Ferrini.

Do not take failure personally, and do not take success personally. Sales is an impersonal process (it is just business) that sales people mistake as too personal. The personal part of selling is the relationship, the impersonal part is the outcome. When you do not confuse the two, selling is so much easier.

Do not focus on how customers treat you. Rather focus on how you treat yourself. The way you perceive customers treating you is an internal version of how you personally treat yourself.

Customers treat us poorly, reject us, invalidate our offering and misuse our time in direct proportion to us allowing it to happen, and with our unconscious cooperation. Customers do not treat us poorly, we treat ourselves poorly. It is impossible to feel rejected, frustrated or discouraged by anything other than our thoughts.

Richard Farrell is President of Tangent Knowledge Systems, a national sales development and training firm based in Chicago. He is the author of the upcoming book Selling has Nothing to do with Selling. He trains and speaks around the world and has authored many articles on his unique non-selling sales posture.

Phone: 773-404-7915
EMail: rfarrell@tangentknowledge.com
Web: http://www.tangentknowledge.com