Bonding

People buy from the people that they feel comfortable with and prospects feel comfortable with the salespeople who are like themselves. Studies show that 55% of all communication with a prospect is tied to physiology or body language: facial expressions, gestures, eye contact, posture, and yes, even our attire. These physical characteristics of communication are more important than the actual words or the tone we use.

We need to mirror and match our prospect’s physiology. If our prospect is sitting back in their chair, very relaxed, we should consider doing the same. If we are leaning forward and perhaps have our hands on the prospect’s desk when they are leaning back, they might become uncomfortable, as we are invading their space and we seem to be aggressive, in turn causing the defense mechanisms to manifest.

We also need to mirror and match the style of the handshake that our prospect has: a strong, moderate, or weak handshake. Someone who has a strong handshake who shakes hands with someone who has a weaker handshake receives the message that the person is unconfident and perhaps a bit of a wimp.

The second most important element in our communication is tonality and prospects feel most comfortable with people who sound like themselves. Studies tell us that 38% of all communication with a prospect is tonality. The expression “it’s not what you say but how you say it” shows the great importance of how we use our words. Imagine someone saying hello to you in a low bored, acerbic tone of voices versus saying hello enthusiastically and energetically. Two completely different messages are expressed.

We need to mirror and match our prospect’s tonality. The tone that is most pleasing to your prospect is the tone the prospect uses. People who speak rapidly become impatient with those who speak more slowly. Conversely, those who speak more slowly are not as comfortable with others who speak quickly, as they appear to be more aggressive. Also listen for their volume and tempo to mimic whether they are monotone or have lots of fluctuation in their voice.

Only 7% of our communication is verbal, or the actual words we use. Therefore, many people seem to simply focus on “saying the right thing” and “having the right response” as opposed to the other 93% of the communicative picture. Since people purchase from similar people and prospects are comfortable with people like themselves, we can copy our prospects in the verbal arena. Listen for your prospect’s favorite words and phrases and then “play them back” to them during the conversation. If they use a lot of sports analogies, do the same. Words and phrases have special meaning to people. Listen for them, write them in your notes and use them in your future conversations with your prospect.