Winning is No More Winning
Than Losing is Losing
In sales how you show up emotionally and having a proper frame of mind will in many cases determine your outcomes, results and sustainability. The number one factor that will impact sales people's self-concept is how they manage and respond to frustration and rejection. When sales people don't take 100% responsibility for their failures, shortcomings, frustrations and rejections they are condemned to repeat them.
On a day-to-day basis, sales is a career littered with ups and downs. To bring balance to the equation try not to constantly be striving for perfection. The more you do so the more imperfect things become. We can only get close to perfection when we let things be the way they are. Obviously this doesn't mean we take no action or corrective measures. What it means is we're passionate about what we do, but we aren't emotionally invested in results and outcomes.
Most frustration and rejection in sales boils down to one simple thing; we put too much faith in expecting customers and selling circumstances to be predictable, conform to our own unique beliefs and to meet our specific expectations.
The ego (false self) strives for perfection in quota, success, positive mental attitude and any other positive attributes that you can think about because it knows perfectly well it isn't sustainable. The dark side of this is ego uses your shortcomings as a stick to beat you up with. So have a vision, even have passionate goals, just don't be emotionally and needy about your attachment and attainment of them.
Sales success and sustainability of peace of mind is about balance and perspective. "Ego, which is the driver of 98% of your behavior and thoughts is only interested in causing suffering. It wins whether you win or lose. It's the ultimate winning combination," says Paul Ferrini. Without balance, sales people achieve great external success at the high price of internal emptiness and failure.
A sales person with a healthy self-concept doesn't feel rejected and if they do, "they don't beat themselves up for it and if they do beat themselves up, they don't feel guilty about it and if they do, they accept that, and if they can't accept that, they accept that they can't accept it," says Paul Ferrini.
You can never control the mind, positive or negative. This is the fatal flaw of the cult of positive thinking. Doing so is a futile attempt to control what can't be controlled. When you do this you end up being controlled by the control you seek.
"The Mind has a mind of its own. We have extraordinarily little control of it. It does what it wants, when it wants, how it wants, regardless of what we want. Don't give it potency by taking it too seriously. At some point the practice of observing your negative behavior and your failure will be more interesting than the drama of that behavior," says Paul Ferrini. Once you achieve this the fear of failure and success becomes neutralized. What is even more positive than a positive mental attitude is an attitude of neutrality, where no deal can make you and no deal can break you.